Supports

Supports do just that – support.  They hold up and give strength.  Supports give credence as well and encourage to keep on going.  A support allows one to stand up, walk, and move forward. I depend on supports.  Without them I would fall face down in a frenzy of failure. 

Read the gospels and you will find a Savior, who though he was God, depended on a support system whom he handpicked.  Christ lived the example of help both given and received.  He would not fall.  He could never fail.  Yet, he was the God-man who lived in a fallen world determined to beat him down.  Men were hell-bent on destroying him and everything for which he stood.  Christ chose friends to support him.  In the end they ran.  He was still God.  He still won.

We still live in a fallen world waiting for ultimate redemption.  Men are still trying to silence Christ and anyone or anything that has to do with him.  Christ warned us of that.  We will be beat down. 

Therein lies the need for support.  God’s truth and plan will never fade or falter.  I will.  I depend on supports daily to keep on keeping on doing what God wants me to do.  I do not like the feeling of being beat down.  It leaves bruises, and I may limp a bit.  But, as a crutch, the supports that God has brought in to my life assist me as I take the next step.  Some use that word, crutch, derogatorily with the intent to show the ultimate inability to stand on one’s own.  I see a crutch as a help to get better, a tool for today to move to tomorrow, something temporal not forever.  The following are a few supports that God has graciously placed for me to hold on.

Daily Bible reading plan

Prayer with friends

Prayer of my husband

Encouragement from my Mom

Smiles, sunshine, and blue skies

Promises kept

Hugs

And so many more . . .

I write this hesitantly as I know that Satan wants nothing more than to see us Christians fall horribly, leaving us injured, bruised, and incapable of moving forward.  Thank you, Lord, that you are stronger than any of that.  Thank you, Lord, for support in a tough time.  Thank you, Lord that you have not promised a win here on earth, but you have already chalked one up for eternity. 

Hold me up, Lord.

Wordless Wednesday

A Battle

I woke up fighting a battle today, one that was in my mind.  I felt defeated before I even left my bedroom.  It is Mother’s Day, a holiday that honors women who hold a job highly valued by God.  Yet, I felt arrows of doubt, sadness, and guilt mixed with heart feelings of gratefulness and joy.  My role as mom began over 20 years ago, and since then I have been privileged to birth four amazing children.  Four other children, who have not had to walk this earth, wait at the feet of Jesus in Heaven.  Still four more precious children have been in our home for closing in on three years.  The state seems bound and determined to sever that relationship.  Given that, my heart fights to be settled on today.  Today is hard at times.  Today is what I fought for from the moment I awoke and as I let the shampoo rinse from my hair.  I fought.  Jesus fought harder.

I cried. 

But Jesus was winning the battle.

Smiles met me at breakfast as did three painted lady butterflies that had broken free from their chrysalis overnight.  That is always a good start and a reminder of a new beginning, a changed life.  I knew I was going to meet a friend and one of my little ones for breakfast again before church, but the chocolate chip pancakes that my Sweetie makes are hard to pass up. 

I sat on the swing outside the door of church waiting for my friend, reading, swinging.  A sweet lady in the church who knows our story asked how I was doing.  She blessed me by acting on her genuine concern for me.  She sat with me in the swing and prayed right there.  I hugged her.  She did not know that she played a special role in the battle.  God knew that I needed some extra help right then. 

As I drove away with my sweet friend and my little girl, I was bombarded with preschool questions and silliness which I welcomed. We smiled.  We talked.  We giggled. In the middle of heartache and uncertainty, God helped me to enjoy the moment. 

So many little things bless me.  Those little moments are what God sends so I can catch a glimpse of him.  He is my warrior.  He is my shield.  Satan is fighting hard for my heart and mind.  I cannot give him an inch.  That takes so much out of me.

After church we headed out to lunch.  Following a time of recalibrating little ones at Panera and a threat of taking our food and leaving, we settled down together to eat.  I did not have to cook or clean up. (Though I probably should have taken better care of the yogurt smeared on the window). That is all good. 

One of the things necessary in a battle is a strategy.  Sometimes that means retreat to regroup.  My Sweetie took my charges and let me do that in the form of a nap.  Often quiet lets me hear more of the battle sounds, but Jesus was winning this battle.  I slept. 

Before the crew got home, I laced my new sneakers that my sweetie gifted me with for Mother’s Day and took off for a power walk by myself.  The sky was a perfect blue.   I could smell spring.  I rounded the corner on the last third of my walk and the wind picked up and blew directly into my face.  I took a deep breath.  And another.  And another.  Not that God was in the wind, but He let me breathe him in on that walk.  He refreshed me. 

A half priced Starbucks frappe and a trip to Target with no one else in tow filled my afternoon.  At home again, I enjoyed a praise time with my son at the piano and Angel on the guitar.  Worship can only frustrate the enemy in the battle.  This was one way I could fight along with God. 

Now I sit to write.  My sweet husband sits across from me.  My children are home and settled (at least I have not had any panic calls).  Much has happened today.  Mother’s Day is an honor.  My day began as an all out affront.  I let God take over.  I am a weakling, but my Savior is all-powerful.   He continues to fight for me.  Yesterday had hurts.  I still have fears.  I still have doubts.  Tomorrow has uncertainty.  Today has blessings.  Lord, thank you for today. 

Grateful

The privilege to mother

The friendship of a mother

Breaks from constant mothering

Rest at the end of a day

Comfort for tears, hugs for fears, and family who is near

Chubby toddler knees and sticky little boy fingers

Tea, chocolate, and flowers all at the same time

A clean kitchen floor that I did not have to mop

Lessons prepped and copied for the next day

Butterflies morphing silently while littles wait expectantly

Anticipation of summer camps

Glimpses of heart changes

A Special Date

A date means many things to different people.  Some view it as a conquest while others something to be feared.  Many view a date as serious as a contract while others just like to share a moment and develop a friendship.  Having been married for almost 23 years, I view a date as spending time with my best friend, the love of my life. 

Tonight my sweet husband brought our 4yo along.  You may wonder how that is romantic.  Picture this. 

My son came down the stairs, freshly bathed after a haircut.  His tie, borrowed from his big brother, hung just a bit too long, but that is no matter.  He looked so sharp dressed for an evening out to the bookstore.  I was told that Dad and he had to make a stop, so I would have to meet them there. 

Before long, my little guy turned the corner into the café carrying a bouquet of flowers.  His smile and confidence filled the room.  I could not help but smother him in compliments and hugs.  Then Daddy instructed him how to ask me what I wanted to drink.  They both took off to the counter where my little man made sure that they all saw his tie. 

It was a good date with two men that I love dearly.  The chocolate covered face of my little guy and the wipes that my sweetie brought with him kept things real. 

We ended our date in the kid section sharing information about different Thomas trains.  We talked about heroes and cars and paint and snow. 

This was no ordinary date.  It was love in motion.  It was moments of learning and laughing, smiling and sweets.  These moments are not planned, but they are also not accidental. 

My husband used this time to spend with our 4yo to show him how to be a hero and love others.  My little guy took the time with Angel to look good.  My hubby made the effort to pick up the flowers with our son.  He showed him how to be a good date. 

Four year olds do not naturally think of anyone much more than themselves.  Learning how to break out of a selfish mold and soften your heart toward others takes effort.  I am thankful for my sweet hubby who by example shows our boys what it means to love a woman, their mom.  My date tonight was another building block added to the steps of maturity for our son. 

He Listens

Thank you, Lord, that you answer the prayers of so many hurting hearts.  You have listened to me as well as to the pleading of others.  I do not deserve a single thing from your hand, yet you provide overwhelming.  My heart’s hurt is small in comparison to so many others who hurt, yet still you care.  Friends around the world have never met my family, yet they have brought each of my kids humbly to your throne of grace where you have met them and listened intently.  I cannot even comprehend the shared hearts of so many. I do not even know them.  Still they pray.  And pray.  And pray.  And you listen.  And you answer.  Thank you.