Friday, October 31, 2014

Coat or no coat?

Fall made me smile with its cool weather, indigo skies, and amazing colors.  Today was little different save for the significantly cooler temps.  It was time to pull out the warmer coats and squeeze bundled kids into car seats.  
Now my 11yo thought he would hold on to summer longer and dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, leaving the coat conveniently on the hook.  
So, here is a mommy question for you.  To what extent do I fight with my tween?  Is the coat that big of a deal?  Am I frustrated simply because I don't want others to look at ME like I am crazy for sending my child to school ill prepared for the chilly weather?
Believe me, there are many things to fight for.  I will always fight for my kids, but too often I find myself fighting with my kids.  
What are some ways that you choose your battles?

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Desperate is a Good Word

I feel relieved that my Jesus cares when all I can do is whisper in my heart my plea of "please help".  I am in desperate need of divine intervention every day, every second.  Sadly, I try to pretend that I can handle it.  I am a big girl, right?  
Yesterday my three youngest did not have a good day, and that challenge carried over through breakfast.  I found myself thinking, "What do I do, God?  Now what? How am I supposed to deal with this?"
As we piled into our bus, I was sure that our entire neighborhood could hear the screaming of littles who were neither happy nor agreeable to anything.  God, please help.
He does.  He cares.  
There were no flowery words this morning, just desperate whispers from a mom to the throne of God.  

Friday, October 24, 2014


I hug them.  I kiss them.  I provide a stable, loving home.  
Yet, my littles struggle in their souls with security.
My own heart hurts when I see them question normal changes in their day as forever changes. 
They have trouble sleeping at times because they simply want to be right next to us.  They need that one more hug.  They need to hear "I love you" one more time before they drift off.  
One would think that the extent of time that these little ones have lived in our home would bridge that void, but as their weeks are filled with confusing interruptions out of our control, their hearts cannot anchor on forever yet.  Insecurity takes over.
I will keep praying.  I will keep hugging.  I will continue being mommy. I will keep hoping that soon their little hearts will settle and rest in the security that only God can truly provide.  

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Maddie's Wise Words

Doors are meant to be opened.
Words are meant to be spoken.
So says Maddie.  Oh, the simple wisdom of a fifth grader.

Don’t be caught over analyzing or over thinking.  Simply sit on the truth for a few minutes.
How many doors have I intentionally closed to keep something or someone out?  How many words have I chosen to allow swim in my heart and mind without flowing into someone else’s?
Before you get up in arms, yes, I agree that closed doors exist for a purpose, and there are words that just simply must be kept locked up.  But I want to just settle on the up side of Maddie’s words.
I will not always know what crouches on the other side of a door, but I know Who does.  By opening the door, I may be pouring darkness into a dark life.  The openness may lead to new and exciting pathways not only for me but also for anyone on the other side.  An open door is a breach within a barrier set too tall to scale and too thick to push through.  Opening the door may simply make things easier.
Words are powerful, both the ones swimming in silence and the ones set free from our minds.  Books (full of words) fill shelves providing plenty of information on how to speak, what to speak, and when to speak.  Scour God’s Word and you will easily find how importantly God views words.  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
My words spoken in truth and love should flow freely over my kids and Bryan.  I am too free to spew the harsh ones, however, instead of bathing my family in the sweetness of encouraging and healing words.  My words should be framed in beauty, not flattery.  Am I choosing to speak words that will brighten a dreary spirit, heal a hurting heart, or encourage a weary warrior?
Thank you, Maddie, for your words today.  You bless my heart in so many ways.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Sitting Cozy

As we go to a smaller church, often my 3yo has one on one time with his Sunday School teacher.  Not always, but often. We have a big family and are involved with other families regularly, so this is not a big deal.  This Sunday, Alyson was in his class, and he found himself the lone ranger again.  She brought him over to join Bryan and me with the teens while Bryan taught.  I heard his little feet climbing the stairs and saw his dark, full head of hair as he peeked around the corner.  Climbing into my lap, he and I sat snuggled together for the next hour in a cozy chair with my Ipad on mute.  I know, not really spiritual.  Well, a mom's got to do what a mom's got to do.  
My little guy is rarely quiet let alone still.  This Sunday a peace blew over his busy body.  I caught a glimpse of sweetness from his usual orneryness.  We sat together, close, cozy. His chubby hand slid over to rest on my leg.  Nothing big, just tender.  
I love my little guy all the time.  He is not always that likeable.  Thank you, God, for giving me the pleasure to sit with my youngest and enjoy him.  

Thursday, October 16, 2014

After a long day for the kids

You know you are a team when you can hug your 11yo on the verge of tears in the driveway while the social worker stands waiting on the front porch, when you watch Matthew on his hands and knees playing with the 5yo building with an erector set he just bought for his brother, when Alyson snuggles with the 4yo on the couch while reading a book and listening to the little one talk of a father she will never meet.  
We are no match for this opponent independently.  God graciously has brought our team together.  He calls the plays.  He equips us.  He takes over when the game gets ugly.  
Our team could use a break, but for today we will play on.  Sometimes our plays are defensive, other times offensive.  Go, team, go.  

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Prayer for a bus on the way to school

We pray often on the way to school.  It does take a while to get through all the kids, but I try nonetheless.  
The morning began rough.  Life is taking its toll on my children.  Prayer has become an essential tool to surround our hearts.  Before we even left the driveway to begin the half mile drive to the first drop off, I was pleading with God for a peaceful day.  
As I was crossing my 11yo to school, the bus began sounding funny . . . again.  We headed back to the throne of God.  It was so sweet for four of my kids, ages 3, 4, 5, and 10, ask God to please help our bus to keep running.  I listened.  God listened.
It was no accident that as we drove down the highway after dropping the next two off that all engine indicators were now off and the annoying squeaking fan noise was now silent.  
God has not promised me a bus that will never break down.  It may not work tomorrow.  For today, for this morning, God chose to give me a glimpse of his provision.  
God has promised to take care of our needs.  I can count on that.  Thank you, Lord, for providing me with a big enough vehicle today to drive all my children to school today.