Hi, my name is Mom, and I have angry kids.

Over nine years ago God brought two little ones, a boy and a girl,  into our family.  He then brought a baby boy and then an 8 year old boy.  All siblings.  We walked each step knowing that God had made it obvious that foster/adoption was a path our family was to take.  Confidence did not make it easy. Just possible.

Each day still brings its own struggles.  Growth can hurt sometimes. We have come a long way.  Boy, has God shown grace and taught mercy in ways that have blown my mind.  Lately, we have revisited the struggle with angry children.  With a lot of prayer, some research, and oodles of friendly encouragement, we are making baby steps.

Today, I set up my chair half way between the basketball court and the playground so I could see three of my kids at the same time.  They needed the big muscle time.  I needed the quiet time.  So, I wrote.

Here are a few things that I have been learning.

I am an angry mom.
I cannot fix everything in the moment.
My kids don’t know why they are angry.
Folding my hands, speaking slowly, and staying in my seat go a long way in staying under control.
I can trust God to help me extend my limits of patience.
Anger is not a sin.
Sinful reactions to anger can be influenced by a traumatized brain.
It is extremely more difficult to disciple a heart than it is to discipline a behavior.
I am too attached to material things.
Broken stuff is a result of a broken heart.
God is much stronger than anything my child will attempt and much stronger than I could ever be.
There are many tools to help our brains to recalibrate.
I can love very defiant children.
My choice to love my child cannot be determined by my child’s actions or words towards me.
God’s plan for my child cannot be altered by anyone.
If I really pay attention to my child, I will see far more smiles and enjoy many more peaceful moments than ugly ones.
Today is a new day.
Praying aloud over my child may not be accepted by my child, but it will focus my heart to God who has already accepted my child.
When I respond in anger, it does absolutely nothing to help.
Big muscle play and brain breaks are essential for an angry child.


I will still be learning until the day I die.  I am so thankful that my Savior has got this whole thing figured out.