Thursday, February 5, 2015

Surrender Part 1

Trial week arrived with little fanfare.  No butterflies swarming as in other hearings.  Some even doubted that we would truly, without a doubt, absolutely have a trial.  For the last 4 1/2 years we have appeared on multiple occasions only to be told things were postponed - again.  
But here we sat.  Bryan had brought work.  We were not invited into the courtroom, but rather we waited, available for any questions or discussions.
A last minute ditch mediation proved fruitless.  The biological mom was determined to take this all the way through trial.  I read her hurt.  I saw her insecurity.  I prayed for her heart.  She had no peace, but forward she marched.
The courtroom waiting area was unsually empty.  Quiet.  The only break in the trial was for an hour lunch.  I read some.  Did a few puzzles.  Made polite conversation with the other foster mom who had joined the wait.  
That morning, snow had been forcasted for the region.  Hardly a flake had fallen, but a superstorm was coming.  At least that is what they said.  In a flurry of panic, the state shut down and the schools closed.  In my converstation with God, I  questioned the timing.  Really, God?  I know you control all things.  Every.  Single.  Flake.  Don't you know what is at stake?  Don't you realize how long I have been waiting for this trial to happen?  Really?
The day ended around 3:30 for everyone to get home safely (the roads were simply wet).  The courts would be closed the next day.   It had been a long, emotional day for everyone.  As we dressed to leave, the bio dad stopped us.  His heart was beginning to soften.  He was beginning to see what was best for both him and his child.  As he cried, I reached over to give him a hug.  We all left wondering what would transpire now. It was completely out of our control, as all of this had been.
I know that hindsight is 20/20.  Still I had to chuckle at God's timing and cringe at my audacity.  Snow big enough to close everything, but not cripple for days was just what was needed.
I needed the day off, but I was just beginning to see that.  By 5:30 I was in bed sick, and I would stay down for the count until the next evening.  Kids' schools were all closed, and there was just enough white powder for them to play outside.  My big kids were all home, so they were able to do an over the top job of keeping things running smoothly.
And then there were the bio parents.  The trial that had been set on hold was brewing in their hearts.  God knew they needed to step back.  Take a realistic look.  Listen to truth.  Make a courageous choice.
By Wednesday, courts were back to normal.  We headed back to wait again.  Today would be different, though.

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