If you knew me, even a little, two and a half years ago it
hurt to remember, and it saddened me that I would forget. I didn’t have any pictures. My memories were few yet precious. Her small body would only be a picture in my
mind. Despair and loss was not a place
where I wanted to stay. Yet, little
ones, no matter how young or small, are precious gifts never to be
forgotten.
My sweetie and I labored over hurt as a challenge to be
conquered and a new beginning to be established. Our story is not new or unique. Many others have experienced the loss of a
little one whether before birth or after birth.
Yet, there seemed no way to adequately remember these little ones
without a grave, without a picture, without a ceremony.
Family Day began for our family on that first February 20
after Julia died. She would have been
born that week. My sweetie purposed to
set aside that day to celebrate who God had put into our family and to remember
those little ones whom we will meet in heaven.
Yesterday was our third Family Day. Julia would have been two. We started the day with baked French toast
and enjoyed the day off of school with some special activities. I took the kids to the park for a mini photo
session. We blew up our favorite print
to 4’X3’ and mounted it on a foam background to hang in our office. I love it.
My Princess painstakingly made a special dessert of ducky cupcakes which
were delicious. One of our favorite
dinners is pulled pork, so we prepared that in the crock pot in the morning so
I didn’t have to worry about cooking later.
After dinner, my sweetie surprised us all with some little gifts for
each of us.
I didn’t cry, and I don’t know how I feel about that. We made good memories, but in the back of my
mind I remembered my little ones. I know
that my life would not be the same with them here. I would not be able to foster other little
ones as we do. I know that God’s plans
are perfect. I truly wish he could have
fulfilled his plan another way, yet I can truly say that I am thankful for what
he has done.
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