Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Family Day

If you knew me, even a little, two and a half years ago it hurt to remember, and it saddened me that I would forget.  I didn’t have any pictures.  My memories were few yet precious.  Her small body would only be a picture in my mind.  Despair and loss was not a place where I wanted to stay.  Yet, little ones, no matter how young or small, are precious gifts never to be forgotten. 
My sweetie and I labored over hurt as a challenge to be conquered and a new beginning to be established.  Our story is not new or unique.  Many others have experienced the loss of a little one whether before birth or after birth.  Yet, there seemed no way to adequately remember these little ones without a grave, without a picture, without a ceremony. 
Family Day began for our family on that first February 20 after Julia died.  She would have been born that week.  My sweetie purposed to set aside that day to celebrate who God had put into our family and to remember those little ones whom we will meet in heaven. 
Yesterday was our third Family Day.  Julia would have been two.  We started the day with baked French toast and enjoyed the day off of school with some special activities.  I took the kids to the park for a mini photo session.  We blew up our favorite print to 4’X3’ and mounted it on a foam background to hang in our office.  I love it.  My Princess painstakingly made a special dessert of ducky cupcakes which were delicious.  One of our favorite dinners is pulled pork, so we prepared that in the crock pot in the morning so I didn’t have to worry about cooking later.  After dinner, my sweetie surprised us all with some little gifts for each of us. 
I didn’t cry, and I don’t know how I feel about that.  We made good memories, but in the back of my mind I remembered my little ones.  I know that my life would not be the same with them here.  I would not be able to foster other little ones as we do.  I know that God’s plans are perfect.  I truly wish he could have fulfilled his plan another way, yet I can truly say that I am thankful for what he has done.
Family Day is a good way to remember, to be thankful, and to look forward to another year. 

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