Monday, December 5, 2011

Moments

Up two times with the baby (Tiger) to eat, once with the toddler boy (Daredevil) to quiet his heart about a dark room, and once with the toddler girl (Sunshine) to calm her after a coughing bout made for a earlier than necessary wake-up call to the day. I needed something or someone supernatural to intervene. It had been a long night.

When Sunshine began to whimper around 3:00am, I made my way cautiously down the hall hoping that my cold toes would not meet an unfortunate injury on toys left from the day’s play. My mind slipped from that cautiousness for a split second as I reached into the closet to find an additional blanket. I turned and fumbled over a box of Polly Pockets, hoping that my not-so-quiet response would not wake any other sleepers in my house. Sunshine would only lie down if I promised to stay in her room. I bedded down on the patchwork carpet amid the rubble of Polly’s, craft supplies, and piles of laundry. I had forgotten to throw on my sweatshirt or bathrobe, so as I lay on the pink heart pillow, I pulled a dress left on the floor from the previous night’s concert and lay it over my legs wishing that it would ward off some chill. In my sleep deprived delirium I related my position to one sleeping homeless amidst piles of random stuff, clothed in the basics, and kept warm with only what was available. A far cry from reality, I know, but, that was my reality in the wee hours of today.

Sunshine’s breathing slowed to a peaceful sleep. I crept down the hallway again and climbed into my own bed, pulled my own blankets up around my head, listened to my sweetie’s hushed breathing, and wished for a few more hours of sleep. I think I was dreaming.

My little ones are certainly high maintenance. I am dependent on God’s grace and power in my life to make each day one that matters. I often find it hard to look past today, plan for tomorrow, or even think into the afternoon. Yet, I have to remember that even the moments in the middle of the night that frustrate me are ones written down by my heavenly Father. He sees me cold, on the floor, bleary eyed, on the verge of exhaustion. He also knows what my tomorrows will be. He knows how far these babies will be able to push my limits of sanity and how deep a love will grow in my heart for them.

I needed a nap today. I have no idea what this evening will bring. Thank you, God, for each moment.

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