Chemo Starts

Life changes in a moment.  Each moment an eternity.  Last week Bryan and I met with doctors, answered questions, and sat and waited for many tests to be done.  My goodness, it was a challenge to get it all in. I cried a lot.
The MUGA scan and x-ray for my heart showed that my heart was healthy enough for chemo.  That’s a good thing.  My MRI showed no new information that would change any treatment that was already scheduled. There is evidence of tumor in one of the lymph nodes, but the chemo will attack that as well.
Port outpatient surgery went well on Wed.  At least the surgery part.  God answered prayer and the doc was able to use the smaller of the two veins to eliminate some complications.  There was minimal bruising.  I just do not do well coming out of anesthesia. Poor Bryan.
Chemo began on Thurs.  What an overwhelming day.  Blood work.  Steroids.  Ativan. Antiemetics.  Multiple saline flushes.  A/C chemo (also known as the red devil).  Neulasta injection.  Information overload.
Nausea.  Body ache.  Inability to stay awake.  All this means is I really have no idea about goings on until Sat.
I woke Thursday night around 3:00am., still on the couch, covered with a blanket I don’t remember putting on.  Next to me on the floor lay Bryan.  This cancer may be attacking my body, but it’s killing Bryan.  I am so in love with this man who through many difficult days has never chosen to walk away.
Love shows up in many ways.  It may be a meal.  It may be a hug.  It can be a blanket or a cup of coffee.  My kids are seeing God’s people stand in the gap and love our family.  I would never, ever wish this awful disease on anyone.  Still, God is good even in the yuck.  My family is going to see Him do some things they could have never dreamed.   Lord, help us in the process.