Wednesday, August 5, 2015

God, please give me a changed heart.

God, please create in me a new heart and renew a right spirit within me.  David knew what he was talking about when he poured his soul.  My heart hurts many days as others' words are thrown toward me.  My head tends to spin as the many demands push me faster and faster.  My expecations, which I felt were clear, lay unheaded, smack in my face, they almost sting.  
No, I am certainly not the cool mom, the one who has it all together.  Despite my attempts, I am still the nagging mom, the one who is too tired to play after dinner.  
Lord, I need to feel you walking along with me in this job of mommying.  I want to hear that whisper that reminds me when to whisper.  I need to be prodded when to walk away and when to run, arms extended, ready to embrace my child.  I need my kids to see you right there, not a crazy momma.  
Oh, I fail at that miserably.  
I know this has been a difficult afternoon.  Thank you, God, that not all afternoons are difficult.  Thank you, that in the end, it was not impossible.  Thank you that tomorrow has new grace, a newly risen sun, a new chance.  

Thank you Lord, for being my Heavenly Father. You are the creator of all things.  Please do a new work in me.  

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