Monday, April 14, 2014

How Do You Feel God?

Her young mind challenges me to go beyond the easy answer.  "Mom, how do you feel God?"
Ummm. I really don't know how to answer that.
Feeling is more than a touch.  It is a sense reaching beyond our skin.  Fuzzy blankets feel good.  Stuffed animals grow to look loved because they are felt.  Clean sheets, warm sand, cool breezes:  all these make us feel more than what a synapse relays.  
My youngest daughter began her life without much personal touch.  When she moved in with us, she began to feel again. Many, many nights were spent on the couch with her laying her body close.  She needed to feel.  
She still needs to feel.
But, what does God feel like?  How do you feel him?
To feel God means to let him reach all the way into your soul.  He is not just a warm and cozy security blanket when we are scared, though he promises to comfort.  He is not just a breath of fresh air after a long winter, though he promises peace and renewal.  He is more than a hug, though he promises never to leave us.  Feeling God is just more.  
I wish many times that I could reach out to hold God's hand.  Maybe that is what my little one wants too.  She knows that feeling my hand wrapped around hers gives a sense of safety.  Maybe she wants to feel if God has whiskers like Bryan.  Is God like her daddy here in her house?  She knows that God loves her no matter what and that he will never leave her, but can she feel his arms around her or is he standing there with his arms crossed?  
I feel God easily on days with blue sky and sunshine.  Those days lighten my heart.  But, in the dark days of uncertainty and anger, God always reminds me that he is still there if I reach out.  I cannot miss him.  
Four year old little girls do not get it all.  They do not have to, but God is still very real to them.  He is there to give them a hand and warm hugs.  He wants us to reach out because he is right there with us.  Little one, you can feel God.  I know you want to feel him wrapped around you like a princess blankie, but someday you will feel him in the depths of your little heart.  I will pray for that day to come soon.  

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