Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Peace in the Battle

Anxiety is not my friend.  She cheats me out of smiles, causes my head to hurt and my heart to pound, and robs me of precious sleep. No wonder my sweet Savior said to be anxious for nothing. 
As time wears on in the foster/adopt process, my anxiety meter has jumped a few notches.  All the T’s need to be crossed and every “i” dotted.  Many eyes seem to watch even more intently as the trial comes closer.  Doubts and questions battle incessantly and unmercifully in my mind. 
The other day during one of those “only in your mind” conversations in the shower, Philippians 4:6-7 reverberated clearly. 
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Now if only I could do that.  At least that is my excuse.  Then I saw again that the verse left no room for my own interpretation or my own list of excuses.  Nothing meant nothing.  Everything meant everything.  All meant all. 
I sat on the edge of the bed determined to lay it out again to God.  My heart was anxious, and I did not like it.  I wanted that peace beyond understanding.  I needed a guard for my heart and mind because I was not doing such a good job of it. 
He listened.  He continued to whisper his words in the midst of the noise. 
There is nothing that is beyond my God’s knowledge or control.  Praying to him at the end of myself is right where he wants me to be.  His peace is not perplexing but protecting. 

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