Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I Love You Anyway

I must have said that a dozen times today if I said it once.
Let me start from the beginning.
Breakfast time brings on a storm of its own most mornings.  Many voices.  Many choices.  Little time.  Little patience.  This morning was no different. We left the house in a rush hoping that we would not be late.
I prayed aloud for my boys as I drove them to school (they are both schooled out of our home).  I prayed for their hearts and their self-control.  I prayed for blessing and learning.  Then I dropped them off and prayed for me.  Yes, me.  I pleaded with God for the wisdom that I knew he promised in his Word.  I know all the ways that I am supposed to parent.  I know how I am supposed to respond to my kids.   Conventional wisdom, though, had failed.  I needed unconventional wisdom – the one that God gifts with abundance if I would only ask.  Today I asked.
It did not take long before my 3yo little guy tested my resolve.  I held him tightly as he kicked and screamed and  tried to worm his head around to bite me.  He then brought out the big guns and yelled at the top of his lungs, “Dummy!”   I gently looked at him and responded with, “I love you anyway.”  Now, friends, at this time I certainly did not like the position we were in.  I did not like him at the moment.  Yet, God’s wisdom poured into those simple words.  Love hit the front of hurt.  Love changed my heart and kept me from getting lost in the situation.  Love planted another seed into my little guy’s heart that would hopefully grow into a feeling of security in our family and knowledge of a loving God who never stops loving us. 
Later that afternoon as I was working on dinner, a little voice in the corner of the kitchen spoke.  “Guess what, Mommy?”  “What?”  “I love you.”  “I love you too.”  I know it was a little thing.  I know that tomorrow things will be crazy.  I know that there were more moments of frustration than that one moment of blessing.  I also know that God changes hearts – even the hearts of little people. 
Thank you, God, for answering my desperate prayer for wisdom today.  Please forgive me for trying to do this parenting thing in my own sad wisdom.  Thank you that you don’t chide me for asking again and again, but that you are there to encourage and help.  Please show me how to love my kids more.

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