Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Four Powerful Words

Sleeping evades me still, sometimes. Nightmares interrupt my sleep, often. Not a good thing if I am to be a somewhat put together, pleasant wife and mother during the day. My mind does not like to shut off. I am sure many of you moms understand. Our schedule is heading into full swing with soccer and school. One thing still seems to be missing, though. She is in heaven with Jesus. We have opened our home to help other children and families who are facing difficult circumstance. It frustrates us that we have not had any calls yet. Didn't God lead us in this direction? Everything seems to be in order. I wish I could see what God was doing.

The other night, I was lying in bed, wide-awake. God does not speak audibly to me, but it was obvious in my soul that He wanted me to read what He had to say. Using my iTouch, I was able to read without turning on the light, which would wake my sleeping hubby. My sweet Savior led me to a passage that has been precious in our marriage, Psalm 37:4, which is written in our wedding bands. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." In my sleeplessness, I found comfort in that verse and the ones to follow. Four words leapt off the screen: DELIGHT, TRUST, COMMIT, and WAIT.

Delight? I'm still not sure quite what that means for me right now. I do know that God has never failed me or forgotten me. He has proven his love for me over and over again. He is God and I am not. I can rest in who is He is and delight that He has it all under control.

Trust? The verse states that I can trust in God because He will bring it to pass. What is this "it"? God is not a wizard waving a magic wand. I can't rub a magic lamp and have a genie grant my three wishes. What I can trust in is His unchanging character. I can trust in His perfect plan that cannot be thwarted.

Commit? Didn't I do that? I thought I did. Or am I just trying to get God's approval on something that I decided to do? Tough questions to struggle with at 1:00 in the morning.

Wait? I hate waiting. Added to that infamous word is that word patiently. Now I have to be patient too? I know God's timing is perfect. I really do. Yet, I want this to happen now. I had asked God to do some amazing things this summer. As if I could put God on a schedule. I mean, I gave him a few months. I always seem to have good reasons. My way makes sense . . . to me. Oh, Sandy, when will you ever learn?

In the darkness of the early morning, God's Word spoke. He wrote those words for me. I can delight in my Savior just because. It doesn't have to make sense. I can trust him with my family because He is trustworthy. With the tough things that come, I can commit everything into his care. Because of all this, I can wait patiently. It is not all in vain. God will work out His perfect plan. It is not following my timing or desires. God will ultimately give me my heart's desire. That may mean two more children in our home, or it may mean that He changes my desires. I can delight in Him no matter what.

With that, I turned off my screen, pulled up the covers, rolled over, and slept in peace.

1 comment:

Jodi said...

What a beautiful post. I'm glad that God spoke to you, praying for you. I have had trouble sleeping lately too, but what else is there to do in the middle of the night than pray. It has helped me too. I enjoyed reading your "conversation" with God. I gave you an award on my blog: