What do you want from God?

What do I want from God?  Is that even a fair question? What does God owe me?  How do I dare ask anything from God?
John 1 recounts when Jesus offered the opportunity for his disciple, Andrew, to answer that very same question.  “What do you want?”
What I want in life changes each day, each year, each season of life.  I look at my kids and often see very wanting children.  I want. I want.  I want.  It’s hard for little ones to see past today, so they want the right now.  Usually it’s food.  Often my attention.  Many times just stuff.
As my kids have gotten older, the wants become different:  direction, a spouse, a job.
Now as I sit well past childhood, the teen years, and young adulthood, I still face the question:  what do I want?
I have begged God for my children.  I have pleaded with Him for healing.  I have daily asked Him to help me be the mom and wife I need to be.  Yet, what do I really want from God?  Do I really want Him or just something He can give me?  That, my friend, is the million dollar question.  I am truly grappling with that.  I know what I should say, but is that the truth?  Do I approach God, to come before my sovereign God, my Savior, to rub a magic bottle hoping to get my questions answered.  Seriously?  Yes, going through the motions certainly seems like that.
Back to John 1.
Andrew had been listening to John the Baptist tell who this man, Jesus, was:  the Lamb of God.  Immediately, Andrew changed his walk to follow this Jesus.  He approached him.  He walked next to him.  When asked what he wanted from this Jesus, he responded by asking where he was staying.  What a curious answer.  Did he simply want to know where he would be staying that night?
I began my walk with God forty-two years ago.  I didn’t know where that walk would take me.  I really didn’t know much.  I talked to God.  When the BIG things in life came up, I asked God about them.  I walked a little closer to His side when life got really scary.  When I was lost and confused I certainly reached up to hold his hand and took  another look in the book of directions He had already provided.
God graced us with the chance to come to him with questions.  He graced me.
The sky shines blue and cloudless today.  The morning was rough in school, but tomorrow will be another day.  As of now, cancer has been dealt with in my body.  I have an immeasurable list of things to be thankful for.
So, what do I want from God?
I want to walk through this day with an awareness that God is right there.  I want to know that when I lay my head down tonight that God is there, and I can talk to Him.  I want Him to spill out all over my kids.
Lord, thank you that you are not distant from me.  Thank you that you listen even when my questions are incessant.  Thank you that you have all the answers.