Curiosity Journal

New Jersey is being hit with more snow today. It seems like a good night to sit in with a cup of tea.

I am reading . . .

Jane Austen's Emma and the Love Dare are still on my list. As you have seen in a prior post, I finished The Case of the Missing Servant and am starting The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (another mystery). The babies brought out The B Book. Wow, I couldn't believe I could recite the entire thing. I guess I have read that book too many times before.

I am playing . . .

The other day, Angel cooked dinner. As the pasta water was boiling, I sneaked a stick of spaghetti. A fencing match ensued. I came close to winning, but my foil snapped. It felt good to be silly.

I am learning . . .

I have a hard time balancing wife, mother, and teacher.

There is WAY too much stuff in my home.

One of the only ways for my toddler to take a nap is for us to go for a ride in the car. Within minutes, my little guy is calm and quiet, sleeping in his car seat. I am learning how to use that time to read, listen to a podcast, and pray.

I am reacting . . .

I wish my reactions were not so crazy. Sometimes, life just gets nuts.

Tomorrow is another day. My big girls' exams have been postponed because of the snow. It will be nice to hang at home again tomorrow.

Book Club

We meandered to the back of the bookstore. More chairs were being put up, and the dessert table set with homemade treats. This group obviously knew each other, which prompted my question whether the group was open to visitors. They welcomed my sweetie and me warmly. We took our seat, made introductions, and dove into a new adventure. We met a self defined irate postal worker, a geologist, a long term mystery book club member from 1999, a mystery writer, an insecure non-reader, and a classy lady who was obviously an avid reader. It was a good kind of uncomfortable.

I would have liked to discuss the book more in depth (The Case of the Missing Servant), but sharing in this setting was enjoyable. It was both intellectual and light-hearted. The best part was sharing the evening with my sweetie. I enjoyed reading the book along with him and being able to discuss something outside of work and kids.

It felt good to step out of my comfort zone and do something new. I might try it again next month.

Sitting With my Little One

I have the unusual privilege of sitting with just my little one this morning. My sweetie took the other five to soccer, and I will catch up with him in an hour or so for game one of three today. In the meantime, I thought I would write a bit of what swims in the mind of a six year old little girl.

She says,

I have already written about spring and winter. I think I will write about summer. I love summer. I go to the beach. I play in the water. I love boogie boarding, The sand sculpting contest is fun, and I got third place. My friend made up sandscreen because she said you can't get sun if you are covered with sand. At the beach, my friends accidentally splashed me with mud when we dug so deep into water. I couldn't see, and then I found Mom. One time my grandma burned the tea bags (when we were at the beach house). It was funny. I accidentally fell on Emily when we were playing in our bedroom at the beach house.

This reminds me of when I found a baby turtle. My sister had to make a pool in the sand for my turtle. I found it at a different beach. I thought we could take care of it for one day. My little cousin was upset when we had to let the turtle go. It was hard to figure out if it was a snapping turtle or a non snapping turtle. The turtle wanted to go out of its pool. My other little cousin wanted me to do a belly flop into the water (at the beach). I used my brother's flippers when I did it. I made up jumps called the twirl-a-whirl and the barking dog.

I love summer. The end.

That was fun. I am glad that I took the time to listen to what my little one was thinking. Quiet is a good thing sometimes, so we can listen to what is really important like summer, sandscreen, and turtles.

Curiosity Journal

I cherish time with my sweetie, but I have to admit that I look forward to this time to sit and write. The big kids have events at church, and my hubby puts the babies to bed. I get to sit at the bookstore, sip tea, people watch, and write. I know this is only week two, but here's to hoping that I keep at it.

What am I reading?

The Love Dare is one day at a time. Get this . . . on the day that I was to get something for my sweetie to say that I was thinking of him, HE comes in with flowers in hand. Ugh! He always does that.

Jane Austen's book Emma has been on my e-reader for months. It is taking me awhile to get through it. I do enjoy it, but so much else seems to be pulling at me.

My hubby and I are going to a book club at our local Barnes and Noble next week. We are reading The Case of the Missing Servant by Tarquin Hall. We have never attempted this before, but I look forward to it. My hubby had the book first and I still need to finish before Monday. I enjoy a good mystery every now and then. Hall is a good storyteller, and the Indian setting is utilized clearly and interestingly.

At the risk of sounding cliché, God's Word interests me. I began reading the book of Mark again this week. Christ's passion for people is powerful. In the midst of oppressing crowds, full schedules, and clueless followers, He cared for individuals everywhere he went.

What am I playing?

So, friends, I played Clue this week! I also won at Rack-O. Now aren't you glad that you chose to read my blog?

My kids are playing a lot. I get to be the chauffeur for the basketball and soccer games. I am also number one cheerleader.

What am I learning?

I can't think of anything profound to share. Teaching four grades means that I learn every day.

What am I reacting to?

LIFE!!!!!!

My heart hurts for the birth mom of my babies. I am thankful that what could have been didn't happen.

I react daily to my messy house. I don't think my reactions have been effective.

I read an article today that interested me. The governor of Alabama, a professing Christian, was bold in his faith and stated publicly what salvation really means. There were many who responded negatively. I wish I had the link – sorry. What limits should be placed on public figures? Was it wrong to be that upfront in that setting? Are we not taking salvation seriously enough?

Time's up! Gotta go get the kids.

Curiosity Journal

A blogger friend posted this idea for the new year. I enjoy writing, but truth be told, it seems I write about the same things all the time (at least I think so). This format may challenge me to think outside my role of logistics manager in my home (ie: Mom). My significance is greatly tied to being a wife and mother. God has created and gifted me to fulfill those roles. However, at the base of those roles is an individual who is reading, playing, learning, and reacting to life as God has planned it. I hope as I take a few moments to focus on things other than doctor appointments, feeding schedules, lesson plans, and sporting events, I will again appreciate some of the things in my day that God has brought simply for me to enjoy. Today, I feel as if I accomplished nothing (Snow days are overrated.) Maybe now is a good time for me to evaluate.

What am I reading?

My sweetie is an avid reader. He sets yearly goals and usually exceeds them. I decided that I would keep track this year of what I was reading. As my children are doing whole pieces of literature for their reading units, I have read a great deal academically in the past few months. However, I did just finish an uplifting book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger, In Praise of Stay-at-home Moms. Sometimes, it just feels good to hear again why it is right to do what I have chosen to do. I also just downloaded The Love Dare (Don't tell my sweetie). Oh, and I also finished Crazy Love by Francis Chan not that long ago. My teen girls are reading it now. Wow, I guess I read more than I thought. Check in with me in a month and see if that still holds true.

What am I playing?

OK, this question is a lot harder and a tad convicting. I have not made it a priority to play lately. The other night my sweetie played Clue with my kids. The babies needed attention so I was on the floor with them. Does that count? I can throw the ball back and forth, play peek-a-boo, and make pretty good animal and fire truck sounds.

This morning it snowed. I kicked all the kids outside but my littlest one. I felt a little (very little) pull to put on my own snow gear, but the opportunity to clean up the kitchen and family room as well as take a long shower won over.

What I am learning?

That is a loaded question. God is teaching me so much. I am not so sure I am a good learner, as there seem to be repeated themes.

I never thought I would learn so much about the welfare system as I have learned over the past five months.

Today I learned with my kids what a good resting heart rate was for each of us. It was kind of goofy, and I don't even know what started the conversation. In any case, we learned how to find our pulse, and with the help of the internet, found out what was a healthy heart rate. I love teachable moments.

What am I reacting to?

We watched the Passion conference via internet in the beginning of January. I am still reacting to what I learned from God's Word.

I am reacting to the reality of children in unhealthy, unsafe, unloving homes knowing that I cannot fix it. For today, I have the privilege of loving on two children brought out of such a home, but I don't know the future for them.

I am reacting today to hormones that tend to go out of whack for no particular reason. That frustrates me.

 

OK. So there. That is my curiosity journal.

It’s Been Too Long

How is it you just know? When schedules get crazy, kids are noisy, and my world spins, I have to readjust my thinking. Stepping out of the reality of the moment and seeing the truth of eternity means that I choose to be thankful for today and what God has done.

I am thankful for boxes of tissues for the many runny noses in my home.

I am thankful for a dishwasher that cleans the piles of dishes used each day.

I am thankful for an extra gate to put upstairs so that my toddler will be safe if he climbs out of his bed at night.

I am thankful for the quiet of the morning before the little ones get up to greet the day.

I am thankful for children's Bibles that capture my babies' attention.

I am thankful for weight gain . . . for my baby.

I am thankful for my messy home.

I am thankful for snow days even though I have not accomplished much.

I am thankful for children who are confident in the kitchen.

I am thankful for children who enjoy playing together.

Profound and Amazing

Not that these two words describe my writing, for they don't. Yet, God has chosen to carve these humbling adjectives onto my heart this year. I am not quite sure how this will all be worked out, but as I close my mouth and listen, open my eyes and watch, crawl, walk, then run to my sovereign God, He will faithfully teach me and pour profound and amazing things into my life that will ultimately glorify Himself.

Mommyhood in and of itself amazes me. Yet, not all mommies know how to be mommies. I have been blessed with a godly mom who loved me and showed me how to mother. I am unsure to what extent I am to expand my mothering. This year may be the year that we add more children to our family, or it may be that I have to send two babies back to their mother.

In the meantime, how does God want me to impact this mom with God's truth for her life? God pierced my heart with the reminded that I cannot sit idly by and allow another opportunity to pass. In this arena of child welfare, there are many hurting children and parents. I cannot help all, but this family I can. It is hard to ask God to do a profound work in this mom's heart, for that may very well mean that these children will be returned to her. Yet, that is where God is going to amaze me.

I asked God this summer to wow me. I am sure that he just chuckled at my request. He has a profound plan for my life and He enjoys wowing me.

God blessed me with an amazing husband who has a profound love for his God, for me, and for our family. I want God to teach me how to love my husband more profoundly. We work together well, but I need to learn, even after twenty years, how better to love my husband. I cannot take our amazing marriage for granted.

We watched Passion2011 as a family via internet this past weekend. I listened to my little man sing his heart out and my angel take notes. We sat for close to three hours listening to worship in both song and preaching. Can I just say – that is amazing. Our hearts were stirred profoundly.

My roles as wife and mother prompted the majority of these thoughts. Those roles were uniquely created by my God and serve to fulfill his purpose for me. I want to be profoundly impacted as well as make a profound impact. I know though, that will never happen by my own efforts or feel good intentions. God will do some amazing things when I am amazed at him and profoundly in love with him.

God help me not to let this be another passing January post. I am trusting God that come next January, I will post of HIs amazingly profound work in my life and in the lives around me.

A Plan for Tomorrow, or the Next Day

So much floats in this mommy mind of mine.
Oh, to have the time to sit and write coherently . . .
Maybe soon.