Do You Remember That Roller Coaster?

Well . . . Monday changed everything.

The little guy that was placed into another home is now in our home – along with his sister. He is 18mo and she is 9mo. So, now I have two teenagers, two school aged children, and two in diapers. Life is crazy, but good.

I cannot believe the amount of time I have spent on the phone figuring out all the meetings, doctor visits, and medical decisions made for these little ones.

I am tired, but God is making it obvious to me that our family is on a mission. He blows me away with the contacts that He has put before me. I asked God to wow me this summer and His is. We are surprised to have such young siblings, but honestly, it has been a sweet blessing to hold such a tiny one again. Her sweet smiles, his precious kisses, and arms held wide for me as "Mommy" make me breath slowly and remember God's precious love for me as his child.

My family is sleeping peacefully now. Quiet is good. Come 6:30am that will all change. Then the day will greet us as we enter Friday with a soccer car wash fundraiser and a 13^th birthday party sleepover on the schedule.

Just thought you might want an update. Have a great weekend friends.

Another One of Those Roller Coaster Rides

The blinking red light caught my attention as I routinely walked past the office carrying yet another load of something upstairs. Pushing the button on the answering machine, my heart skipped a beat as the voice identified herself as a worker from the Division of Youth and Family Services. We have been waiting for a call for over a month, and were quite surprised that things were taking a long as they were. Many factors played into the delay, none of which was in our control. Maybe this day would be different.

We received notice that a little 18 month old needed a family to love him. His sad circumstance tugged at my heart, and we gladly responded affirmatively to welcome this little guy into our home. We didn't know for how long, but that didn't matter. We were ready for God to use us. My kids were excited. My husband and I were excited. My mind went into high gear thinking of what I needed to do to get ready for a little one in my house that evening.

"I'm sorry, but we have placed him in another home." What?? My heart sank. It made no sense. DYFS had asked us to take this child and was waiting for our response, which was quick. If they had another home for him, why did they ask us? Talk about a letdown. Seriously, I have no idea what God is doing sometimes.

God again gently poured his peace calming my anxious heart. He reminded me that His plans will never be thwarted – not even a disorganized office. God did not choose to have this little guy in our home.

I choose to enjoy what God has already given me and look forward to how He is going to use us in other families. I now have the name of another little one to lift up in prayer.

How about you? How has God held you through some of the roller coasters in your life?

Sunshine Award

My friend Jodi gave me the Sunshine Award this week! Wow, I am honored. For the life of me, though, I can't seem to get the beautiful button for the award to show on my page. Truthfully, I don't feel that I have been all that full of sunshine lately, but I am thankful and feel blessed to share and be a part of some fun. As part of the Sunshine Award, I am to tell you 7 things about myself, and then pass the award on to 7 other bloggers. Let's give it a try!

1. I have been married twenty years to my college sweetheart and have four children whom I teach at home. Four of my other children are in heaven waiting for me.
   
2. I hate to iron, but I am finding out from girlfriends that I am not alone in that distaste. My husband now sends his shirts out. He says that eliminates marital conflict.
   
3. I just learned to play Risk with my family. I have yet to win, but oh well. I enjoy playing with my kids and sweetie.
   
4. I am anticipating adopting two more children domestically. I don't like waiting.
   
5. I am horrible at the Wii. My son beats me every time.
   
6. One of my favorite movies is Return to Me. I am a sucker for a movie at which I can both cry and laugh.
   
7. My husband and I are going to begin working with the younger married couples in our church beginning this fall. I am excited to develop new friendships, encourage young parents, and mentor strong marriages.
   

Visit these blogs and drop them a note. I am sharing this Sunshine Award with them. I truthfully don't follow all that many blogs (my sweetie would beg to differ). I appreciate the chance to meet new people and share in their lives via blogs.

1. Pages From my Journal (Princess's blog)
   
2. Once for All (Angel's blog)
   
3. Ballston Babes
   
4. A Page From our Scrapbook
   
5. Jennifer's Joy Ride
   
6. Chatting at the Sky
   
7. Holy Experience
   

Four Powerful Words

Sleeping evades me still, sometimes. Nightmares interrupt my sleep, often. Not a good thing if I am to be a somewhat put together, pleasant wife and mother during the day. My mind does not like to shut off. I am sure many of you moms understand. Our schedule is heading into full swing with soccer and school. One thing still seems to be missing, though. She is in heaven with Jesus. We have opened our home to help other children and families who are facing difficult circumstance. It frustrates us that we have not had any calls yet. Didn't God lead us in this direction? Everything seems to be in order. I wish I could see what God was doing.

The other night, I was lying in bed, wide-awake. God does not speak audibly to me, but it was obvious in my soul that He wanted me to read what He had to say. Using my iTouch, I was able to read without turning on the light, which would wake my sleeping hubby. My sweet Savior led me to a passage that has been precious in our marriage, Psalm 37:4, which is written in our wedding bands. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." In my sleeplessness, I found comfort in that verse and the ones to follow. Four words leapt off the screen: DELIGHT, TRUST, COMMIT, and WAIT.

Delight? I'm still not sure quite what that means for me right now. I do know that God has never failed me or forgotten me. He has proven his love for me over and over again. He is God and I am not. I can rest in who is He is and delight that He has it all under control.

Trust? The verse states that I can trust in God because He will bring it to pass. What is this "it"? God is not a wizard waving a magic wand. I can't rub a magic lamp and have a genie grant my three wishes. What I can trust in is His unchanging character. I can trust in His perfect plan that cannot be thwarted.

Commit? Didn't I do that? I thought I did. Or am I just trying to get God's approval on something that I decided to do? Tough questions to struggle with at 1:00 in the morning.

Wait? I hate waiting. Added to that infamous word is that word patiently. Now I have to be patient too? I know God's timing is perfect. I really do. Yet, I want this to happen now. I had asked God to do some amazing things this summer. As if I could put God on a schedule. I mean, I gave him a few months. I always seem to have good reasons. My way makes sense . . . to me. Oh, Sandy, when will you ever learn?

In the darkness of the early morning, God's Word spoke. He wrote those words for me. I can delight in my Savior just because. It doesn't have to make sense. I can trust him with my family because He is trustworthy. With the tough things that come, I can commit everything into his care. Because of all this, I can wait patiently. It is not all in vain. God will work out His perfect plan. It is not following my timing or desires. God will ultimately give me my heart's desire. That may mean two more children in our home, or it may mean that He changes my desires. I can delight in Him no matter what.

With that, I turned off my screen, pulled up the covers, rolled over, and slept in peace.

Gratitude

God lavishes me with his love and goodness that He takes my breath away. Sometimes life hurts, but God is so caring to place His arms around my life, holding me close when I feel like I am falling. In both the minute and mammoth, God is there. My heart truly swells with gratitude.

#153 - 164

• For Christ's example of godliness and humanity
  
• For new fruit harvested
  
• For visits with both out of state family and family close by
  
• For books that make me think and books that make me laugh
  
• For Sunday naps
  
• For a gift of homemade cookies from my daughter
  
• For challenging conversations
  
• For reminders to wait on God
  
• For teenage daughters to share life with
  
• For a foot rub, just because
  
• For the chance to hold a five-week-old little princess
  
• For butterflies at the beach
  

Reckless Words

Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good to build others up that it may benefit those who listen.

Convicted yet? I was. Multiple times.

These pointed verses pricked my heart as I sat with friends in a Vacation Bible School class for moms. I realized I am very good at making excuses: what I said was truth, she/he needed to hear it, I just need to vent to someone. God doesn't give wiggle room for these lame excuses to fit. What I say is a direct relation to my thoughts, intentions, and emotions. When I stop and think that my speech is an overflow of my heart, my words should change. It doesn't become all about me and my needs, but reorients to what will build someone else up and benefit them. Oh, that is so hard. Does anyone else feel the same way?

My words have purpose. God has blessed me with five beautiful treasures in my home. Do my words make these treasures shine or do they corrupt?

Today, my family loaded up the van, packed a lunch, and headed to a lake to play. The beach wasn't crowded, but other families were enjoying the sun as well. I couldn't help but listen to other moms. Can I say, there were some reckless words thrown at children today. What did my words sound like? Was I legitimately building my kids up? Were my words beneficial?

These convicting verses will always be a challenge for me. I am thankful for a gracious, forgiving God who has promised to continue to work in my life.

Getting into Gear

Summer just flies. August came way too quickly, and now I am rushing to get school in order for the fall. Normally we begin our year in the middle of August so we can finish by May. This year turned out to be different. It looks like we will be starting in September instead. Another one of the flexible features of homeschooling.

I enjoy our summers. We didn't do anything extraordinary in this one, but we were definitely busy. Soccer camp, overnight camps, camping with grandparents (see a theme here), week at the shore, painting bedrooms, finishing foster care licensing, and vacation Bible schools are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head that filled our calendar (and we are not even finished yet.) Now it is time for this homeschool mom to switch gears.

My Angel will be taking duel credit classes this year at Cedarville Academy via online courses through Cedarville University. As this is her first choice for college, it has been exciting to take that first step. Her fall semester class will be Politics and the American Culture, and the spring semester class will be Humanities. She will be challenged, but I am confident that she will rise to the challenge. As Mom, I experienced new things as I helped Angel with the application and wrote a transcript for the first time. It seems so surreal to view college on the near horizon.

For those of you homeschoolers who are interested in what other things I will be teaching, here is my working list. Sorry if I bore others of you.

11^th grade: American Lit (my own curriculum using units), ABeka Language Arts, Wordly Wise, McDougal-Holt Pre-Calculus (taught by my father – YEAH!!!), Biology (taken at BRS), Theology Survey (Grudem), 1 semester of Economics (taught by my sweetie), integrated writing

8^th grade: Intro to Lit (my own curriculum using units), ABeka Language Arts, Wordly Wise, McDougal-Holt Algebra I, Life Science (taken at BRS), personal Bible studies, US History 1 (taught by my sweetie), Spanish I (Rosetta Stone), integrated writing

5^th grade: Unit studies for reading, ABeka Language Arts, Wordly Wise, Harcourt Math, Apples spelling, ABeka History, Harcourt Science, personal Bible study, integrated writing

1^st grade: ABeka Phonics readers, ABeka Language Arts, Wordly Wise, Harcourt Math?, spelling to coordinate with reading and language, ABeka history, Harcourt Science, integrated writing, Bible memorization and learning the books of the Bible

That is the main idea at least.

Most orders have been placed, and books are on their way. Our family is still working on our summer reading so we can enjoy a Coldstone treat. I am mentally making a list for our first of many trips to Walmart and Staples for school supplies. Oh, the fun of educating at home! I wouldn't have it any other way.